Why am I Still Single? Single Senior

Why Am I Still Single?

Many of us have had more than one relationship in our lives.

We may have been married, perhaps we’re serial monogamists or something of a player.  Today we are a single senior.

At times love may have eluded us and appeared to have been lost. So, navigating the somewhat turbulent waters of dating can feel like we’re going around in circles.

Even with a certain amount of self-awareness, it can be a highly frustrating and disappointing experience. We seek out the online profiles, wondering if anyone is halfway normal out there (the word normal is used subjectively) and give up, when we just can’t bear it anymore.

Many of us hope we’ll meet someone doing the things we love, or randomly at the grocery store and when it doesn’t happen, frustration mounts and determination subsides.

We may think something is wrong with us, or all the other singles out there!

The older we get, the more we may be weighted down by our past relationships.

We make our decisions based off what happened in the relationships; whether a past partner cheated, or abandoned us, perhaps there was always drama, or no intimacy and so we create an idea in our minds of what we will or won’t tolerate.

The thing is, it isn’t so much about our past partners and who they were; it was more about our past partners and who we were being at the time.

Where were we at with ourselves that we attracted this person into our lives? And why does it seem with all the awareness we keep attracting people who don’t fit what we believe, we need?

I talk to people all the time in my work, wonderful human beings, who believe they are ready for that particular significant other to enter their lives. Unfortunately, many are still emotionally tied up in a past relationship, whether in feelings or in the rules they create for future engagement.

When we’re basing it off what didn’t work in the past, rather than our own availability to having an emotional bond with another, we will continue to transmit the same ol’ energy!

And if we haven’t dealt with what keeps us emotionally holding on, there is no space inside of us to allow another vulnerable entry into our lives.

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